Advice for Brides: Bridal details checklist

June 24, 2014

Lorin Fairweather

For Brides

Advice for Brides: Creating your registry

June 24, 2014

Lorin Fairweather

For Brides

One of the questions a new bride will often get after showing of her new ring bling is "Where are y'all registered?"

For Dean & I putting together a wedding registry was not by any means at the top of our things to do before getting married. In fact, I was dreading having to somehow put together a list of things that our guests could choose to purchase for us. Did we even need a registry? As much as I love being able to bless other newlyweds with wedding presents, I was struggling with how or what to put on ours.

One big thing I learned through our engagement was this: your family & friends want to bless you! They are excited for this new chapter in your lives & want nothing more than to help you start your new life together as Mr. & Mrs. From our dear friend Holley who made our incredible wedding cake to the friends who helped craft our centerpieces, we saw over & over the awesome ways that our community rallied around us to help us pull off our wedding. Once I understood this, registering became more of something to look forward to!

So, where do you start?

Create a list of what you & your soon-to-be spouse own & will be bringing to the marriage. Dishes, curtains, tupperware, a blender, bathroom towels - it helps so much to know what you already have so you don't double up or register for unnecessary things.

Create a separate list of anything y'all don't have but know you need/would like for your new home. It may be small things like a trashcan or pot holders, or larger items like a vacuum (we didn't have one until my sweet in-laws bought us one) or a coffee table. This mixer made our list & boy, are we glad to have Ruby in our kitchen :) If you don't know where you'll be living, it can be hard to know specifics like I don't know how know many windows there will be so what length curtains should we get?? Here's the awesome thing: most stores allow you to exchange or return anything you register for. So swapping out an extra pair of curtains for throw pillows is easy breezy.

Use a registry checklist to look over any room of the house or category you may have overlooked. I say look over because the checklist should be more of a guide than a specific list of things you just have to register for. The Knot & Bed, Bath & Beyond offer a great run-down of household items. By figuring out what you want before you go into any of the stores, you're less likely to feel pressured from well-meaning sales associates to include other things you may not even like or would ever use.

Finalize your list of needs/wants, pick 2 or 3 stores & start registering! Having a few stores allows you & your fiance the opportunity to have a greater assortment of gifts as well as price ranges for guests to purchase from. We registered at Target & Bed, Bath & Beyond & were really happy with the process of both. Here's another really cool feature: you can register for items right from your laptop! If you're like me & love to see all the options available, it may help to start with an online registry for a certain store, if that's an option, & then spend an afternoon in the store finalizing your decisions in person with the fun little scan guns. Both Target & BBB offer this.

What's cool about Target's registry: They offer you a 10% discount on things unpurchased on your registry after your wedding! Adding or deleting items from ther registry is simple, exchanges are easy to do & returns, too, as long as you have the gift receipt.

What's cool about BBB's wedding registry: Your guests can use their 20% off coupons for your wedding gift. BBB throws registry completion events & will give you 20% off all unpurchased items after your wedding. If you don't make it to the event, you can also use coupons for each item (& they accept all BBB coupons - they don't technically expire)! AND If you like World Market, you'll love this: BBB has acquired the store & offers some of their goodies for sale at select stores. Dean & I discovered this in Vienna & it looks like Chinatown will be getting the same!

Consider adding an online universal registry. We used GiftRegistry360 as our third store & it allowed us to add specific items from many places into one list. For example, if you really want a glass pitcher from Crate & Barrel, you can add it to your universal list without creating a whole separate registry for just 1 item. There were some small glitches with the site (it didn't allow anything from Urban Outfitters to be added or sometimes wouldn't take our guests to the correct link), but overall it was really convenient & easy to use. MyRegistry is a similar option.

Do a happy dance - you're finished! Now that you've put together your list, you can add the link to your wedding website & pass the store names along to your family & bridesmaids to let your guests know where y'all are registered.

Do y'all have any other suggestions for brides & grooms who registering for gifts?

May 21, 2014

Lorin Fairweather

For Brides

Advice for Brides: Your bridal party

May 21, 2014

Lorin Fairweather

For Brides

When my then fiance/now husband & I started discussing the size of bridal parties with his family last fall, we quickly realized there was a difference in matters of how big is just right.

What's the average number of bridesmaids & groomsmen? my mother-in-law asked.

About 8 to 10 people, I said.

They. were. shocked! In the South, once you included siblings, maybe your closest cousin or two, plus your longtime friends & college roomies, you're probably looking at a double-digit bridal party. For Mr. D & his mama, who originally hail from the Midwest, they decided 4 or 5 was about average for weddings they'd seen or been a part of.

So what is the best size for your bridal party? Although space, money & resources can quickly add up with a larger group of bmaids & gmen, let's put that aside for now & ask yourself this question:

Who do I want walking beside me in the months leading up to our wedding & who do I want standing beside me as we say our vows?

When you think about what you're asking your bridal party to do - support you, cheer for your upcoming marriage, help with wedding planning/tasks - & how asking them to be in your wedding reflects just how deep & meaningful your relationship is with them, it helps when deciding to ask or not to ask.

What if I feel like it's simply expected for me to ask this friend? Maybe you were in their wedding. Or y'all were really close buds years ago. Are they automatically in your bridal party? My hubby & I asked 8 girls & guys to stand with us on November 9 (#ourbigSouthernwedding, anyone?). It was almost 9 - I thought about asking another friend because it felt expected, although our relationship had become distanced over time. But we realized that wasn't going to help our friendship or our wedding party. It would only add stress in ways that no one wanted or needed. Do you actually want this friend to celebrate your marriage with you? Then ask away!

Should all of our siblings be included in the bridal party? Realizing family ties are different than friendships formed throughout our life, think about it like this: "Will my brother/sister/soon-to-be in-law be crushed if they're not a groomsman/bridesmaid?" For those with laaaarge families, you may just have your closest siblings at the altar, or those that are unmarried/don't have kids/still enjoying being in weddings. Remember, your wedding is a family affair & a time for your loved ones to gather with you & toast to your marriage. If a family relationship will be drastically impacted for the worse by not including a sibling, it may be wise to ask them.

Do we need to have an equal number of bridesmaids & groomsmen? I've had brides ask if having an uneven number in the bridal party will throw things off or look bad in photos. Honestly, it doesn't! Whether you have 1 bmaid standing next to you or 5 groomsmen next to your fiance, they are there because that person has a special place in your life & they are important to y'all. And that's what matters, & what will shine through, in your wedding photos.

Do y'all have any other suggestions for selecting your bridal party? How did you decide on your bridesmaids & groomsmen?

Happy wedding planning!

Advice for Brides: Creating your registry

April 8, 2014

Lorin Fairweather

For Brides

Advice for Brides: Seeing your groom

April 8, 2014

Lorin Fairweather

For Brides

To see him on the morning of our wedding or not to see him?

That was the question rolling around in my head as Dean & I prepared for our wedding day. At some point, a blog post I'd read awhile back written by the lovely Caroline Joy came flooding back into my mind. How she & her soon-to-be hubby got away from all the hustle & bustle of getting ready to enjoy a few sweet moments together.

That's what we wanted - a few minutes alone to pray & ground ourselves before the day's events swept us off our feet. So we planned to wake up around 6 am (ceremony = noon!) & secretly meet up for coffee & time in the Word.

I still remember waking up to my alarm that November morning, tip toeing around the 5 or 6 bridesmaids asleep all over our lovely but not large enough hotel room & peeking out the door.

And there he was, waiting for me :) Allthough we had a first look together (pictured above), sneaking through the hallway with Dean, down the padded stairs & into the lobby for some coffee in styrofoam cups was truly wonderful.

Any lingering concerns I had about table numbers & our reception playlist, which were finished just a few hours earlier vanished (yes, as in the middle of the night. I highly do NOT recommend giving yourself T-minus 5 hours to sleep!).

As you carefully plan out the details of your wedding day & timeline, think about the day of. If you could carve out a few minutes in the midst of it all, how would you spend that time?

Maybe it's reading through old letters together, eating your favorite breakfast or just exchanging a big hug. Whatever you decide on, know that you'll have the memory of those moments spent together to treasure throughout your marriage.

Advice for Brides: Creating your registry

March 21, 2014

Lorin Fairweather

For Brides

Advice for Brides: Get more sleep

March 21, 2014

Lorin Fairweather

For Brides

Raise your hand if you slept for more than 8 hours last night? 7 hours? How about 6? If your answer is any less, step away from the computer & find a spot to rest. Like pronto.

If you're on a regular sleeping schedule of 7-9 hours, cheers to you!! For those of us who may be struggling to get enough sleep, only to start to doze off at our desk, or during a movie, or a meeting, or during date night - I've been there.

Confession from my childhood: During my teenage years, when my body could somehow survive on less sleep during the week & make up for it on the weekend, my mom & I would bond by staying up into the wee hours in the morning, working on different projects, reading & talking. While I so cherish those times we had together, it set the stage for some baaad sleep habits that I'm still facing today.

Up until last year, I'd look at the clock & see that it was 11 pm (PM!) during the week, & think, "Oh awesome, I still have 2 (or more) hours til I should go to bed." It was around the time Deano & I got engaged that the not-getting-enough-sleep thing really became an issue. In the course of a month, I started LMP, began a new job & kick off wedding planning. Talk about a lot to do, too little time to sleep!

Or so I thought. Y'all, have you had the eye twitch? You know, when all of a sudden, your eye starts to move on it's own? Totally freaked me out when it started to happen & when I looked it up, research studies show that eye twitching "can be associated with lack of sleep, stress, or excess caffeine." Or a big, huge combo of all 3?!

Most week nights, I woke up with my face on my laptop, when I had dozed off trying to edit/blog/search for bridesmaid dresses. At work, I was downing tons of coffee & yet would make silly typos & other mistakes that, had I been rested, wouldn't have happened.

Here are a few stats from The Sleep Better's Council's 2013 survey of US adults :

> Half of Americans (48%) say they don’t get enough sleep, but less than half of them take any one specific action to help them get better sleep.

> Close to one-third of adults (31%) always turn to coffee or caffeinated beverages as their way to make up for lost sleep.

> More women feel that they are not getting enough sleep (53%) than men (44%).

The Council went on to say to declare insufficient sleep "a public health epidemic" that contributes to depression, unattractiveness, skin aging & weight gain. Yuck, who wants to experience any of that?

Add driving to or from work - or anywhere - when you're sleep deprived, & it can get even worse. According to the CDC, it's like being intoxicated - with a BAC or 0.05% or higher. There were times when I felt *that tired* while driving & I realized it was NOT OK to continue down that path. If you were like me & struggling to get enough sleep, here are a few tips:

Set a goal for yourself - For me, it was 7 hours of sleep each night. It was hard at first but eventually my body got used to it & I was so tired that I could fall asleep easily.

Take a nap - I know, people have different opinions on this but many studies show that snoozing for 30 minutes or less is a good, healthy timeframe.

Get into a routine - Going to sleep & waking up at the same time during the week & on the weekend definitely helped me get consistent with my Zzz's. Now, almost a year later, I am regularly getting into bed by 11 pm & up by 7 am.

Use your mornings - Once I started going to bed earlier, I realized I could wake up a little earlier & work on things then. Pinterest, wedding blogs & emails will still be there in the AM :)

If you're feeling a lack of sleep getting to you today, lunchtime = naptime! Happy Friday!

Advice for Brides: Creating your registry